I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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