fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
