And the cops told us we were all naked.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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