He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
