If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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