i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
