There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
