So drunk, too bad you don't want this
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
