Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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