when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
