Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
