STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
