Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
