Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize