Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
