i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
