If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
