is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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