Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
