do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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