That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize