i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
