just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize