ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
