I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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