I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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