My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
