My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
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