So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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