I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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