the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
