angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
