just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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