it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
