Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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