so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
