her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It was confusing and full of hummus
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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