i just google imaged poop.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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