We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
