Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
