I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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