I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
