I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
