her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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