i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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