wakey wakey hands off snakey
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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