I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
my liver is dry heaving
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
