I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
