I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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