You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
