Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He better not be in your backpack
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
