He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You left your phone here
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