Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Found your dick twin last night
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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