we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
