I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I love having hate sex.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
