You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
