Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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