He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
