so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
