bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
