I feel great
I just peed on a car
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
These tits shall not be calmed
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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