she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
