everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We have started to decorate penises.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
