I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
