in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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